Wednesday, 9 May 2018

Putting The Pressure On Yourself

 Most Evenings Sam and I plan to sit down and watch a tv series together. We make sure we're already for the next day, make the bed all cosy and then jump on in to get watching. However, most of the time we're not 100% sure what is going on in the series because we are glued to our phones. Both avid scrollers of instagram and we just can't seem to get off them. Even when we say no phone we some how find ourselves on them. Yes I know that's REALLY bad when you know you can't stay off them. I mean people upload on Instagram all the time so I have to keep up to date right?

But with the feeling of having to keep up to date comes pressure. As someone who isn't shy to say they are working to make this into something to pay the bills it can be hard not to look at numbers and keep an eye on what others are doing. I feel there can be quite a taboo in saying that someone is working on this so that one day it can be their job. But to be fair it's something I enjoy and who doesn't want a job they love? But it can get hard when you watch your likes and followers a lot. It can be disheartening when you don't get those likes you wanted or if your followers don't go up as quick as you like. Recently I've been stuck in the 1.8K region for quite some time and it does get to me. Am I posting the right stuff? Is my content getting boring? What do people want? It's draining. I think when I get like this it's important for me to take a step back. Even if its just for a night I put it away and leave it alone. Sometimes I meditate and focus on my affirmations. Other times I just have a night with Sam. That way I can come back the next day feeling refreshed. Then I really focus on not looking on my profile. I post content as usual. But don't touch the photo or click my profile after. I just engage and leave meaningful comments on others content.

I have actually seen the benefits of doing this as I recently did gain 40+ followers after not caring. So it's true what they say. If you don't care in your numbers they actually go up. And although I anticipating this taking off I need to remember it's not about numbers in the first place and I do it because I love style. I love making friends through blogging. And I love taking and editing my photos the whole process brings me so much joy. This week also a friend from work said how she could see the aura around me glow when I talk about blogging and working hard on it and that's enough for me. For someone to notice my aura with the whole concept of blogging.
Another thing that I feel pressured by is creating and getting content noticed. With thousands. If not millions of gorgeous girls all working on their brand and trying to get noticed it can be very difficult. Trying to keep up with the trends and posting the most up to date outfits is hard. If they're not up to date then you lose out on chances to be reposted by that brand, which can organically help your own brand grow. Another thing I feel pressured about is my look. Now I would never alter anything about my body to grow an audience. But you see all these girls doing amazing and I can't help but notice the constant gorgeous tans, stunning nails and the golden hair that many seem to have. And for me, I have stubby nails because I have a bad habit of picking them, and I only let my skin tan when it's summer. I have to be honest though. Without the pressure of feeling like I have to change I have started fake tanning and actually feeling the benefits of feeling more confidence when having that tan. I have also considered nails. Not because they would look better for the gram, although I do envy the look when people take photos holding things as I always attempt to hard my awful fingers. Lastly the idea of getting balayage. I have been thinking about trying the idea of a blonde balayage for summer I can't help but thinking all of these things I have started doing or want to do is it because subconsciously it's because I've been seeing it online all the time? Am I going to fall into the instagram cliche? It also makes me feel a little bit like a hypocrite considering the things I see working and could be seen as feeling pressured to do is also something I'm doing because I 100% want to.

The last reason. Although also going back to the idea of turning this into a career is the guilt of not knowing really what to do with my evenings. Weekends are spent getting content and as much of it as possible. Most weekends I shoot between 5-7 outfits and that will last me about 2 weeks worth of content. But during the working week I come home and the main thing and probably only thing I do is interact with people on instagram and occasionally through their blogs. Although I know that is very important and I very much enjoy doing it I feel their is more I could be doing. However I don't know what that is. So I always feel pressure in the fact that I could be doing more. I could be getting my brand noticed further and yet apart from interacting I don't really know how. So I pressure myself to try and figure this out and still getting nowhere. It's a very tricky world.

It's tricky indeed. But it is something that I absolutely enjoy. I love creating content. I love working hard to create new and better things and getting to know people who share the same interest. I love feeling inspired enough to want to try things I wouldn't necessarily do before - i.e. change my hair or try out nails to not only look good but help my own grow.  I think when you're feeling the pressure it's important to take a step back and remember why you do it and what you enjoy about it. No matter whether its a hobby, your career or a career path your starting to embark on.

2 comments :

  1. Loved this post - can totally relate to everything you said! By complete chance I was without my phone last Saturday (this drunken idiot left it in my friends car the night before), and it was liberating going out and not constantly checking my phone! I came home and I left all my instagram pods, which surprisingly hasn't effected my engagement much at all and I'm enjoying posting far more!! I definitely think it's good to take a step back sometimes. xx

    Lucy | www.lucy-cole.co.uk

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    1. Thank you lovely and I can imagine how nice it must have been to have that break, it really can help can't it! Oh really, that's interesting. I'm in pods still but don't participate (so essentially left them) and I agree with you I haven't noticed a change as I found them so pressurising and I think people worry they need to be a part of them. But for me I only want to be in groups if we actually chat too xx

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